Well, this is my first blog post ever. I have to begin by saying that I have been inspired by friends such as Stephanie, Jonathan, and Shane to start sharing my thoughts online. Whether you're reading this for entertainment purposes, to get to know me better, or simply because you have nothing else to do, I appreciate your time. I am creating this blog for myself--for therapeutic reasons mainly. Since this is my first blog, I guess I will spend the time describing my reasons why I decided to create this blog. So here we go...
I have never had a problem sharing my opinions and using my voice in social situations. Besides for the occasional public speaking nerves, shy is not in my vocabulary. In school, I was always that kid that would be the first person to talk to the new kid. My mom always told me that if a brick wall had the chance, it would escape my conversations before I even started. Emotions were always very familiar to me, too. For as long as I can remember, my sleeves have always been covered in my many emotions. My emotions are my greatest strengths and my biggest weaknesses. Although I have always been able to communicate my thoughts vocally and emotionally, I don't share every thought. Most of what goes on in my mind is lost on a daily basis simply because I don't know how to communicate and share it with others.
When I was younger, I would cry myself to sleep, silently so my parents would not hear, because I was overwhelmed with my brain. I know this may sound silly and ridiculous, but I would have thoughts racing through my head so quickly that I could not process them all. It would give me such a headache because I would try to spend time on each thought but end up overwhelmed with the amount of them. I used to believe it might be some form of ADD; however, I never showed any other signs. As I grew up, I learned how to handle and almost control my overwhelming thought process. I found ways to communicate my thoughts externally in order to ease and empty my mind. I used to sit on my roof right outside my bedroom window and stare up at the stars and just talk. I would stay out there for hours and talk to myself, to the stars, to whoever was listening..It was therapy. Things got better, and I found myself not having to spend so much time alone. Then the tornado happened. I cannot really describe the feeling that overcame me when I walked down 15th Street right after it happened. My old ways began to take hold again, and I found myself needing alone time to just cry and talk out loud. I know it was a traumatic experience that affects people like this; however, I can't seem to shake my feelings of wanting to be alone because of my overwhelming thoughts. The thing is, I'm not much of a loner. I like people. I am much happier when I am around human interaction. The problem is that I isolate myself sometimes because I become so overwhelmed with thoughts that my emotions get the best of me. I struggle every day with this problem. It is an extremely frustrating feeling when you cannot communicate what is going on with you to other people. When this happens, I retreat.
I am tired of retreating.
I have two years left at The University of Alabama, and I am determined to leave a better man in every aspect of my life.
I am creating this blog in hopes that I will be able to use it as a form of therapy in gathering my thoughts and communicating to anyone willing to listen (or read in this sense). Of course, the blog will also have to live up to its title. Plenty of entertainment will be involved along the way. I promise I won't dive TOO deeply into each blog. :-)
Until next time,
Thanks for taking a minute to check out my glamorous muggle life!
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